TS Chuck Norris :)

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Mike Nike
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Post by Mike Nike » Tue Feb 16, 2010 2:04 pm

Despite numerous requests, Chuck Norris has never made AI lines. He fears that with so much skill on a single track, the universe would implode.

Lol, def. one of my favourites.
Let's collect some days more and vote the best jokes^^

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Whiplash
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Post by Whiplash » Tue Feb 16, 2010 2:15 pm

dede wrote:I must admit that Chuck Norris is starting to have such a nice list of features I don't have..

Yeah. We all should complain to Ande for that. This could be good list of things that we could ask in 'suggestions' topic too.

-Chuck Norris never writes suggestions posts. He is happy with all he already got.
Last edited by Whiplash on Tue Feb 16, 2010 2:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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iBlaze²
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Post by iBlaze² » Tue Feb 16, 2010 2:17 pm

Mike Nike wrote:Let's collect some days more and vote the best jokes^^


That's a brilliant idea!

Actually, this reminds me - will voting be opened for the 2009 TS.com awards anytime soon?

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Mike Nike
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Post by Mike Nike » Tue Feb 16, 2010 2:25 pm

ok lol, i wrote the already 120 jokes (in less than 3 days) into an excel list with author and id.
what's a better voting system? rank all jokes with criteria 1 to 6 (school notes, 1 = A = best) or just write down personal Top10 giving points 10 9 8 .. 1 points / vote? 2nd might be easier with that many jokes^^ ...

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Post by Tijny » Tue Feb 16, 2010 2:46 pm

iBlaze² wrote:
Mike Nike wrote:Let's collect some days more and vote the best jokes^^


That's a brilliant idea!

Actually, this reminds me - will voting be opened for the 2009 TS.com awards anytime soon?
Chuck Norris would win them all anyway.

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iBlaze²
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Post by iBlaze² » Tue Feb 16, 2010 2:49 pm

Tijny wrote:
iBlaze² wrote:
Mike Nike wrote:Let's collect some days more and vote the best jokes^^


That's a brilliant idea!

Actually, this reminds me - will voting be opened for the 2009 TS.com awards anytime soon?
Chuck Norris would win them all anyway.


Rofl! This comment is so full of win :D

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Mike Nike
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Post by Mike Nike » Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:17 pm

my favourites so far^^ -> tijnys comment was so funny, it deserves to count as joke too^^

Code: Select all

id   author   rank   joke
17   Tijny   1,5   - Chuck Norris drove a Spinner and enjoyed it.
1   Whiplash   2   -Chuck Norris got lap record on Closkwise with Slider and he didn't drift at all.
7   Whiplash   2   -Chuck Norris touched reirom while racing and reirom didn't complain.
13   Whiplash   2   -Chuck Norris managed to drive 2 laps in a row on SC_Winter.
20   Tijny   2   - Chuck Norris once broke a lap record without even driving a single lap.
34   dede   2   - Chuck Norris read this topic and he didn't understand why all people laugh about it (http://www.turbosliders.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1674&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0)
36   Whiplash   2   - How did Chuck Norris discover TS game??? He type "Full Contact" in google search.
52   olio   2   -Chuck Norris never needs to learn the cars. Cars learn Chuck Norris
57   Jurgen-NL   2   - Chuck Norris never has lags Chuck Norris creates them
71   iBlaze²   2   - Chuck Norris never waits for the lights at the start. The lights wait for him.
89   Mike Nike   2   - Chuck Norris can finish a 4 laps race in 3 laps.
100   Mike Nike   2   - If Chuck Norris disables someone, he is disabled for life.
101   Mike Nike   2   - If Chuck Norris scores a goal in punaball, he scores the assist too.
116   Tijny   2   - Despite numerous requests, Chuck Norris has never made AI lines. He fears that with so much skill on a single track, the universe would implode. Which is also the reason why there's currently no AI for Punaball.
120   Tijny   2   - question: "[...]will voting be opened for the 2009 TS.com awards anytime soon?" - response: "Chuck Norris would win them all anyway."

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Post by Jurgen-NL » Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:46 pm

-Chuck Norris says ande stole all the credit for creating the game
-Chuck Norris first played TS when he was 18 in 1958
-Chuck Norris convinced norowirus that norowirus was straight
-Chuck Norris thought of making the car speeder after his wife gave him the nickname in bed
Dont beg for things do it yourself or else you wont get anything!!

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olio
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Post by olio » Tue Feb 16, 2010 11:12 pm


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shyguy1001
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Post by shyguy1001 » Tue Feb 16, 2010 11:36 pm

Quick! Give him all the 2009 awards, and while you are at it, all the 2010 awards in advance!

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dede
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Post by dede » Tue Feb 16, 2010 11:43 pm

Eh awards.. go on and open a new "official" topic, so that we can find out what to vote for and then make nominations etc..

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Post by iBlaze² » Wed Feb 17, 2010 12:36 am

dede wrote:Eh awards.. go on and open a new "official" topic, so that we can find out what to vote for and then make nominations etc..


Who, me? ... would be a pleasure - I'll get that sorted now in fact :)

Also I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise for my relative inactivity since coming to university in September. Since arriving here my real life has gone absolutely mad, so that I have very little spare time these days. However, I still remain loyal to the community, and hopefully I'll be able to organise the next TRC and XBX! competitions sometime soon.

Anyway, in order to keep this post on topic...

Chuck Norris once participated in TRC. The server was down for a month afterwards.

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Whiplash
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Post by Whiplash » Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:32 am


Hey olio, can you tell us HIS password?
It could be fun to use HIM here sometimes. :)

-Never use small latters when you talk about HIM. I don't speak about god here now.

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Post by Jurgen-NL » Wed Feb 17, 2010 5:22 am

iBlaze² wrote:
dede wrote:Eh awards.. go on and open a new "official" topic, so that we can find out what to vote for and then make nominations etc..


Who, me? ... would be a pleasure - I'll get that sorted now in fact :)

Also I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise for my relative inactivity since coming to university in September. Since arriving here my real life has gone absolutely mad, so that I have very little spare time these days. However, I still remain loyal to the community, and hopefully I'll be able to organise the next TRC and XBX! competitions sometime soon.

Anyway, in order to keep this post on topic...

Chuck Norris once participated in TRC. The server was down for a month afterwards.


thats ok iblaze real life is more important then anything since thats not something that when you lose you can play again :lol: besides

-Chuck Norris keeps an eye on everyone in there daily lifes
-Dede ghosts dont exsist ... that was Chuck Norris he accidently made noise when spying on you
Dont beg for things do it yourself or else you wont get anything!!

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Whiplash
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Post by Whiplash » Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:24 pm

Jurgen wrote:
thats ok iblaze real life is more important then anything since thats not something that when you lose you can play again :lol: besides



TS is real life too because you play it with real people and you can't play again first F1 league race for example. :)

-When Chuck Norris plays ghost race, all other players hear sound of his car anyway.

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iBlaze²
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Post by iBlaze² » Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:36 pm

Jurgen-NL wrote:real life is more important then anything since thats not something that when you lose you can play again


Possibly the wisest words I've ever read in this forum!

- Chuck Norris can even make an AntiSlider slide. Nothing prevents him from doing what he wants to.
- Whenever there's an RDP kabooom, it's just Chuck Norris joining the server.

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olio
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Post by olio » Thu Feb 18, 2010 10:43 am

Whiplash wrote:Hey olio, can you tell us HIS password?


-There isn't a computer powerful enough to crack passwords of Chuck Norris

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Whiplash
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Post by Whiplash » Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:36 pm

xb match:

/who
Registered players (2)
«REIROM (Server) (d)
«Chuck Norris (256.256.256.256) (c)


Track 1/1 will XBumpz (by Ande)
0/3 min Win by wrecking the enemies


<REIROM> YOU AM READY?????
<Chuck Norris> You ask bots that too???
<REIROM> YES HEUAHEUAHEUA
<Chuck Norris> Idiot.
<REIROM>HAUEHAUHEAHEU
...playing...
...playing...
...playing...
Chuck Norris wrecked by REIROM
<Chuck Norris> LOL wtf
<REIROM>HAUEHAUEHAHEHU
<REIROM>HAUEHAUEHAHEHU
<REIROM>HAUEHAUEHAHEHU
<REIROM>HAUEHAUEHAHEHU
REIROM mutted for 40 seconds.
Chuck Norris disconnected.
<REIROM> MAJOR CRY
Battle over.
<REIROM> SEEMS OVER
REIROM disconnected

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Post by misterpom » Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:14 am

Chuck Norris once scored six goals in a single game. It wasn't Puna.

Chuck Norris can make Reirom win by pushing his car from every direction until the finish line.

Chuck is the only one who am not disappoint Reirom.

Chuck Norris TS videos feature hollywood stars and play everyday on MTV.

Chuck Norris TS videos all have "Directed by: Chuck Norris" written on them.

Chuck Norris car once touched the grass. Nothing ever grew in that spot since then.

Chuck Norris tracks can't have straights because everything is gay compared to him.

Chuck Norris can make a car go faster by screaming at it.

Chuck Norris made "Mike Nike" change his name to "Mike" because he doesn't allow advertising on his game.

Chuck Norris only plays ghost mode, because when he touches other people's cars they get so scary they die and become ghosts.

Chuck Norris favorite command line is ' /order "Chuck Norris" '.

Chuck Norris abolished the master server, because he is the only one that can be called a master. Now it's called "Chuck Norris Server".

Chuck Norris wrecked a car once. Damage was off.

Chuck Norris doesn't use keyboard or joystick. He just points where he wants to go on the screen.

Chuck Norris presence on a server makes impossible for Damage to be turned off.

Chuck Norris once wanked a track so much it had an orgasm.

Chuck Norris doesn't wank tracks, he gets blowjobs from them.

Chuck Norris last screen is different. It reads: "Do you want money? We can send some through Gyro transfer or Paypal".

Chuck Norris lost once, it was in .... Hey Mr. Norris, I was just kidding! Please don't ... Oh, no! Nooooooo!

Chuck Norris killed me and ressurrected me so I can make this post. Now he will kill me again. Bye.

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Whiplash
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Post by Whiplash » Sun Feb 06, 2011 12:47 pm

- Chuck Norris typed once to misterpom: "What's up my nigga". Pom didn't complain.
- Chuck Norris typed once to misterpom: "Yo my nigga". Pom didn't write "I'm out of community" topic after that.

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Post by Tijny » Sun Feb 06, 2011 1:13 pm

Whiplash wrote:- Chuck Norris typed once to misterpom: "What's up my nigga". Pom didn't complain.
- Chuck Norris typed once to misterpom: "Yo my nigga". Pom didn't write "I'm out of community" topic after that.

....................

Image

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Whiplash
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Post by Whiplash » Sun Feb 06, 2011 1:21 pm

:roll: Well, I didn't have better intentions anyway. :P

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Pingu
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Post by Pingu » Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:40 pm

lol^^

Chuck norris can shoot curveballs during punaball :oops:

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Whiplash
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Post by Whiplash » Thu Feb 10, 2011 4:57 pm

olio wrote:-Chuck Norris can shoot swerve balls in puna

Too late. Olio already got that one. :wink:

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Post by Whiplash » Mon Apr 25, 2011 8:27 am

-Chuck Norris lapped a spectator.

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